


a thousand miles from comfort (no place i'd rather be)

by AceSailorKoshkaRayn



Series: if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing (you're fuckin' perfect to me) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, I love to hurt my good blue bean son so much, Langst, M/M, Soulmates AU, broganes, except half the time Lance's brain hates him, intrusive thoughts TW, self harm tw, suicidal ideation tw, that soulmates thing where you can sometimes hear what your soulmate is thinking, told from Keith's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceSailorKoshkaRayn/pseuds/AceSailorKoshkaRayn
Summary: “I wonder if I could throw myself off this bridge and make it look like an accident.”Keith choked, his mug of tea falling from his hand to shatter on the floor. Hot liquid splashed across his bare feet but he couldn’t even bring himself to care, chest feeling desperately tight.Keith/Lance soulmate AU where sometimes you can hear your soulmate's thoughts.Lance's brain is not very nice to him, most of the time. (See author's note for more specific warnings.)





	a thousand miles from comfort (no place i'd rather be)

**Author's Note:**

> TW for suicidal ideation, depressing thoughts, mentions of self harm (Lance scratches until he bleeds, but it's not explicit.)  
> This is 100% a brain-dump for me and my intrusive thoughts. Write what you know, hm?

_ “I wonder if I could throw myself off this bridge and make it look like an accident.” _

Keith choked, his mug of tea falling from his hand to shatter on the floor. Hot liquid splashed across his bare feet but he couldn’t even bring himself to care, chest feeling desperately tight.

“Shit, Keith?” Shiro leapt up, the creaky wooden table rattling. He stepped over the puddle of tea, clasping his hands on the twelve-year-old’s shoulders. “Keith, kiddo, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Soulmate,” Keith croaked roughly, hands knotted into tight fists against his chest. “H-he, I, he-  _ Shiro _ ,” his voice cracked and he threw himself into the man’s chest. “Shiro, I think he wants to-”

“Oh, buddy,” Shiro said soothingly, stroking his fingers through Keith’s hair. There was nothing he could say, not really, not in this instance.

~/\~

_ “Three-year-olds are strange and mysterious creatures.” _

“He’s not dead!” Keith yelled, slamming open the apartment door.

Shiro jolted, scratching a red gouge across the top paper on his pile. “Jesus, Keith, do you  _ want _ to give me a heart attack?”

“Surprises are good for you,” Keith mocked, hanging his backpack over the back of the kitchen chair and slamming his palms flat against the rickety wooden table. “And! My soulmate! He’s not dead. He said something about kids today.”

Shiro arched a singular eyebrow, brushing his thick black hair back. “Kids, huh?”

“Kids are weird,” Keith declared, nodding, and dropped into one of the chairs. He reached for Shiro’s mug and made a disappointed sound when he discovered it was empty.

Shiro only snorted, grabbing the mug from his hands and standing to set it in the sink. “Coffee’s bad for you, anyway. It stunts your growth.”

Arching a disbelieving eyebrow, Keith eyed Shiro dubiously.

“I am done growing,” Shiro replied hautly, rinsing the mug out.

Groaning, Keith rolled his eyes and flopped back in the chair. It rattled ominously.

~/\~

_ “Oh this is gonna hurt like a sonovabitch.” _

Keith jolted out of bed, landing with a thump on the floor, the image of the bottom of a flight of stairs lingering in his vision. He swore, hands clenching in tight fists against the carpet, his heart rabbiting in his chest.

“Jesus christ,” he breathed, sinking slowly down until his face was pressed to the floor. “Oh god he’s gonna fuckin kill me one day, I swear to fuck.”

~/\~

_ “Shit, I did it again.” _

Keith rubbed at his own forearms at the sense-memory of scratching, scratching,  _ scratching _ until thin lines of blood were raised. He tugged down his sleeves to stifle the urge to do the same, and sent soothing thoughts as well as he knew how to his soulmate in the hope that he would catch at least some of them.

~/\~

_ “I’m gonna need some lilies for Lilia before I get home.” _

Keith’s mouth made a round ‘o’ of sudden comprehension, the pen in his hand dropping quietly.

“...Keith?” Shiro asked carefully, watching the fifteen-year-old cautiously. “You...okay?”

“His sister died,” Keith said quietly, blinking down at his homework. “A few years ago. I was wondering why he always seemed so sad.”

“...Ah,” Shiro bit his lip, reaching out to grasp Keith’s hand comfortingly. He still wasn’t all that good with emotions.

~/\~

_ “ _ [ _ Yo, yo no me doy por vencido, yo quiero un mundo contigo _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hRGBcr_gJc) _ -” _

“He can sing, too, and I wanna die,” Keith groaned, burying his face in his arms atop the library table. “It’s entirely unfair. I can’t even whistle.”

Shiro patted the back of his head. “At least he’ll think you’re cute, probably, even if you’re not musically inclined.”

Keith scoffed, then groaned.

~/\~

_ “Why is it always essays? Essays are horrible. I wish I could write this in Spanish.” _

Keith smiled to himself, doodling a little sword on the edge of his homework.

~/\~

_ “Oh  _ **_wow_ ** _ …” _

Keith jerked his head up, staring around at the group of people in the cave with him. It was- it was one of  _ them? _

One of them -a boy with dark skin and huge blue eyes, Lance?- stepped forward to rap his knuckles against the strange blue barrier surrounding the huge blue machine.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Lance said, sounding fond and amazed, something in his voice familiar. “You look important.”

~/\~

_ “I always wanted to die in space.” _

Keith stared at the massive staircase in utter shock, heart in his throat and threatening to choke him with every rough breath. “Oh no,” he breathed, just as the lights went out.

~/\~

_ “I miss cherry Jolly Ranchers.” _

Keith frowned around the room, helmet tucked under his arm.

Lance was staring out the window, arms crossed tightly across his chest. He looked...small, almost insignificant wrapped in his oversized green jacket.

Keith’s gaze fell, his fingers drumming an absent beat on the curve of the helmet.

Lance frowned suddenly, lifting his head up. He squinted suspiciously at the empty space where Keith had stood a few seconds prior.

_ What the hell am I doing? _ Keith thought furiously at himself, scrubbing a hand over his face. He leaned against the back of the chair, helmet between his knees.

“...What the hell are you doing?”

Keith yelped, jolting away from the chair. His helmet skittered away from him, thumping against the wall.

“Nice, dude,” Lance said, resting his crossed arms on the back of the chair and peering down at him. “Now, what the fuck.”

“Nothing!” Keith scrambled to his feet, face red. “Nothing at all is going on, at all, I have  _ no idea _ what you’re talking about.”

“You are extremely shitty at lying,” Lance said flatly, arching an eyebrow. “I assume you were better at one point in time?”

“Yes!” Keith sputtered, hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I mean, I-”

Lance watched him slowly become more and more flustered, a small smile quirking his mouth.

“Argh!” Keith yelled, throwing his hands in the air and marching moodily out of the room.

Not thirty seconds later, he marched back in, shuffling over to snatch his helmet from the floor. “Shut up,” he snapped at Lance’s giggling, face fire-engine red.

~/\~

_ “Hold on hold on hold on- dios mio it’s so hard-” _

Keith launched himself away from the training bot, vaulting off the wall and through the door out of the training room. “Lance!” he yelled, swinging at the bot still following him. “Shit, what the fuck-  _ Lance! _ ”

He ducked under a wild move from the gladiator bot and saw-

“Oh jesus,” Keith breathed, eyes going wide.

Lance clung to one of the handles in the airlock, clothes whipping wildly around him.

Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He slammed his sword into the locking pad and the door flew open -there was a brief jerk of sucking air before the outside doors closed. The entire chamber was bathed in red light.

The training gladiator whirred angrily, jolting towards them.

“Lance,” Keith breathed, half-terrified. He spun away at the last second, swinging his sword angrily and taking the gladiator’s head clean off. Darting back to Lance, he prodded awkwardly at his shoulder.

Lance groaned, fingers losing their white-knuckled grip on the bar, finally allowing him to slide down to the deck. “ _Fuck_ am I cold,” he mumbled, blinking tiredly. “You doing alright, mullet-man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
“I’m fine,” Keith said faintly, practically ready to keel over in relief. “You? Other than cold.”

“Well, I just about got sucked into the unforgiving vacuum of space, so I could probably be better,” Lance replied, hauling himself to his feet with Keith’s help. Neither of them commented on his trembling, or how he could barely stay upright. “That’s gonna fuck my nights up for a  _ long _ time.”

Keith mumbled something soothing and awkward, looping an arm under Lance’s arms as support.

~/\~

_ “ _ _ We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea, but as long as you are with me, there's no place I rather be.” _

Keith found himself humming along almost absently, half-asleep drifting on the couch.

“It  _ is _ you, you fucker!” Lance suddenly yelled, and Keith jolted fully awake and off the couch with a yelp.

Swearing, Keith dragged himself off the floor to glare at Lance. “What the fuck are you talking about  _ now _ ?” he asked exasperatedly.

“Of course I get stuck with  _ you _ as my soulmate!” Lance threw his hands into the air in frustration. “You hate me! Of course, of  _ course _ , as if my fucking life didn’t suck already!”

“I don’t hate you!” Keith yelled back, struggling to his feet. “You hate me! You’re the one with the stupid, stupid fucking rivalry thing! Why would I hate you?”

“Why the fuck  _ wouldn’t you _ hate me?” Lance laughed bitterly. “I mean, fuck,  _ I do _ . You always say you do, too!”

“I-” Keith paused, forcing himself to take a deep breath. “I don’t hate you. I could never.”

Lance swallowed thickly, hands coming up to scratch anxiously at his own arms. “Well, I guess that makes one of us. And...I don’t hate you either. Not really.”

Shuffling awkwardly around the couch, Keith held out his arms. “I know it won’t fix everything immediately, but, um, can I hug...you?”

Laughing brokenly, Lance scrubbed at his eyes with one hand and nodded. “Yeah, I guess you can, mullet man.”

Keith immediately swept him into an awkward hug, arms almost too-tight around Lance’s narrow shoulders. It wasn’t much, but it was a good start.

**Author's Note:**

> holy shit look at me go i'm not dead.  
> I wrote this in roughly four hours on a Sunday night to put off putting away my laundry.  
> Message me if you think there should be any more tags added; I'm not good at tagging things and I wanna make sure I don't accidentally trigger someone. :C


End file.
